I find that people consistently are unreliable and at times manipulative in my business and personal dealings. Over my life this has greatly affected me and I have often become instictively cold as soon as I feel cheated or disrespected. These days whilst I still get hurt I honour the hurt and search the siutation at depth.
The latest incident was with the local mechanic I use. I booked the car in for 9-9.30 am and arrived at 9 only to find that his shop was all locked up. When he did arrive at 9.45 he was very ambivalent about the situation. I have also found with this mechanic and almost every other one I have used that their work lacks attention to detail and any degree of passion or pride. This is not just mechanics as I also find that big business like the various service providers are also less than thorough and honest in the services they provide.
I believe at a deep level that society conditions us to not trust each other and to struggle with life. That this has us become victims to life and self absorbed in the unconscious desperation to survive, compete and protect. Whilst individuals or organisations stay unconscious in this lack of trust we will continue to manipulate eachother when we are under any sort of pressure. Further given how self absorbed we are most things in life seem to be a pressure.
I wrote a text to a friend a while back and it seems very apt for this piece of writing.We are all equal in heart. In certain situations or aspects of life one person may be superior in ability or strength. In these circumstances especially we must remember equality and not misuse our situational power as this is how pedestals, need and dependancy creeps in. You can only hurt another when you forget this in my opinion. In the situation with the mechanic he knows cars and I don’t. However I go to him for his expertise yet in life as it stands it is hard to trust a mechanic or a telecommunications company or even a romantic partner. The way society promotes life individuals and businesses often manipulate others if they can get away with it. Further in schools and in life in general many of us bully those who seem weaker or less gifted. What we don’t realise is that all of this hurts all of us. If one hurts we all hurt on a deeper level.
The best solution to what I see as a great issue is TRANSPARENCY IN COMMUNICATION. To promote in our individual lives and on a society level full honesty and humility. The reason we don’t trust and people abuse trust is that most of us are self absorbed in the pain and struggle that we feel we live under. However so few go deep inside of themselves to honour the pain. Instead we just carry it and it weighs us down and promotes a lack of passion for life and a lack of trust for self, life and others.
I am sure I am not the only one who has felt a victim to big business or to a partner or to a stranger who acts badly. However I wonder if I am one of the few that honours the hurt and really believes it can change. For the history of humanity we have bought the whole seperation thing. Because we believe in pain and struggle and seperation this is exactly what we receive much of the time. I am sick of all the manipulation and lack of integrity in society. However I know whenever I am insecure and needy that I am contributing to the pain and the violence. Really think it is time that humans swapped the self absorption for self awareness.
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Self awareness is a hard hill to climb for most of us. The joys and benefits are there when we start climbing that hill, but so are the cuts and grazes we get on the way. I try and instill some basic core values into our young children, honesty, respect, consideration and love. Do the right thing even if others around don't do so. I would rather feel at peace (and hopefully my children will) in knowing that I have done the right thing. I would rather resist the urge of the 'quick gain' to keep my honesty and integrity.
If somehow people can see that the long term outcome is so much better - and indeed better for themselves - perhaps we will see a little more of what you are talking about. Society 'bounces off' each other, so the more we get exposed to dishonesty, lack of consideration, lack of humility, the more people think it's Ok. Equally, if the situation can start to reverse then the same principle can apply and more acts of considerate and decent behaviour can follow.
It is all around us. People are no different than water or electricity in this respect..we follow the path of least resistance. We need Help.
Look at the history of humanity, and you will see that so much of life is dominated by production (of goods and services). Read Harris on why the cow is sacred in India or pork is taboo in Islam. Most is economics. So as long as the economic powers that be can keep the population in managed economic conflict, they retain control. Capitalism is conflict. Capitalism is not freedom. Capitalism is not democratic. Capitalism is control.
The standard of living in western society is much better than the feudal system of 500 years ago, but how much better is the quality of life, really? Tony's observations point to an indication. It's better for many on some levels. But if you could see what I see, with an intuition of future hindsight, you would be appalled at what a disgrace this planet is compared to what it could be.
When we eradicate capitalism, as feudalism, slavery, and other anachronistic economic systems and devices have been eradicated, and replace it with a means of production not based on conflict, only then can we be truly free to realize the potential in people.
Sadly, almost no one wants to hear. The grand design of the modern world has the corporations and old money in control of the media, which, complicit with the governments of an ever-increasing number of states, keeps pressure on the unwitting, weak-minded masses to conform to a slow progression to the Lowest Common Denominator in which servility, lack of critical thinking, anti-intellectualism, moronic group-think, and social conformity are to be maximized at all costs. Paramount seems to be a mind-boggling synchrony of abandonment of hope for REAL change on the one hand, and social exile of anyone out of step with the "shiny happy" ethos of the emergent monoculture on the other.
While you all are out partying or updating your fucking facebook page, some of us outliers, with no choice but to confront the depressing, sickening state of the world due to it's obviousness glaring at us in the face, have spent plenty of time examining the situation, and in some cases devising the solutions. The research has been done. The analysis is thorough.
But virtually all of you refuse to listen. That is why you will have no chance, if you ever have any chance at all, until you fail. That is why you are doomed. That is why you also doom even those who can move all in the right direction. And that is why you will insult even this very writing, and why you will hastily resume your vacuous pursuits, right after you consider my ideas for 7 seconds, and then dismiss them.
Some great points made, I agree.
Worth chatting about this over coffee one day.
Hope your well
Dan
Agree very much about the influences in society that try to control us and instill fear in us. However I believe that they only have power if we allow them to by not being fully self aware.I also agree that human life is well below what it could be. So many of us get weighed down by fear and struggle and sell out on our own hearts. The facebook thing is also interesting. I have many of the facebook junkies come through here and I beleive that they are robots to fear. They are so scared of their own inner demons that they create constant activity at a shallow level to block their awareness to their own conflict and insecurity. However I see that rare individuals in history have initiated enormous change. If a few rather than just one can combine in the one era then I think we can bring humanity to it's optimum.
Best Wishes Tony.
I see where you are coming from re taking on hurt as being harmful. The way I see it is that if I am hurt I must honour the hurt. You are right that there is every chance that the mechanic and anyone who may hurt me are not meaning to. However by accepting the hurt and then looking into it I become more aware of my own past and stored pain. Also helps me to realise that the actions of others that do hurt me have reason also. For instance the mechanic being less than efficient was/is due to more factors than would appear on the surface. So by my being hurt and then searching I gain access to more knowledge about human nature which can only be helpful.Hope this makes sense.
Best Wishes Tony.
Logically, when we are taught to fear the world and the people around us, we withdraw to a safe place within our own minds. Bound by our own truths, understandings and questions, we become self absorbed. We see things as we understand them, and fear keeps us from exploring other possibilities. A different opinion, rather than being an opportunity to learn and grow, becomes a threat to our 'intelligence' or apparent good standing.... we cannot even allow another's opinion for fear it might challenge our precarious inner status quo and damage our fragile ego!
People who recognise that negative emotions and actions spring from fear are more able to forgive and heal. As to the mechanic...well, perhaps it was just laziness, or a lack of organisation....but of course, these all come from self absorption and not seeing the consequences of one's actions (or lack thereof) on others. I personally see self absorption as my greatest challenges, for it is when I see only myself that I'm most truly alone!
It's only when we recognise that the cruelty and lack of trust we see around us is based in fear itself that we can begin to shake free of the shackles. Those who are bullied often have the greatest gifts to share, for they must face their fear on a daily basis. For the bully, his situation is much more dire, for a bully hides his fear and hurt behind cruel words and flying fists. But in the end, the bully has nothing to give of himself, as his actions have spoken for him and left him without inner words.
As far as I can tell fear, greed and denial seem to rule us humans beyond any rational thought process. This seems to be getting more severe as time progresses in my experiences.
I can recall reading a self help book years ago which had the first line of text stating 'There is no such thing as "reality" -We create our own reality via perception.
I still think back to this book from time to time and it helps me no end.
It will no doubt sound strange but watching the movie american beauty seems to calm me down after an event as you have mentioned.
Take care mate -shoot me an email if you would like to have a chat.
cheers